Are you THAT Clueless??

This is a list of stuff I've heard over the years regarding my Deaf/Blindness...

* "Oh you must really miss hearing things" - How can I miss something I've never had in the first place??

* "You don't look Deaf or Blind" - Uhh how am I supposed to look? Have a freaking sign around my neck?

* (Asked to my Mother) "How is your daughter doing?" (Mom's snapback) "Ask her she's standing right here!"

* "What's it like being Deaf?" - Dunno what's it like being Hearing??

* "How long are you going to stay Deaf?" = How long are you going to stay stupid?

* (Explained to someone I'm Deaf and need to lipread) (person turns white and freezes in fear) - Oh for crying out loud it ain't contagious!!

* (Turns around to catch someone glaring at me) "What's the matter with you!! YA DEAF???" - Yes I am, what's your excuse?

* (Taps way into room with White Cane) "Hey! How'd ya get here? Drive?" - Yeah! I stuck my cane out the window and tapped on the road ahead of me!

* (Explaining how a Hearing Ear dog works) "So when the doorbell or phone rings..." (interrupted) "Oh then the dog BARKS at you!" - Uhhh no I'm Deaf remember???

* "Deaf people can't have sex" "Whaaa? Where the hell ya come up with that?" "Well they can't hear the sounds of lovemaking or see in the dark to talk..." (facepalm)

* (Explained I'm Deaf) (Enunciating) "Ohhhh Caaaaaaan yoooooouuuuu uuuunderstaaaaaaaand meeeeeeeee?" (I really wanna punch these people).

* (At a home show...leaning against my White Cane...waiting) "Oh where ya get that?" "pardon?" "The free stick!" "I'm blind and this helps me get around" (like there's a table giving away free "sticks" to the first 200 people)

* "You can't be Deaf! You're understanding me!" - it's called lipreading dufus

* (Spotted my C.I.) "Oh is that the new Bluetooth??"

* (Asked after explaining why I was bringing my Hearing Ear dog in the building) "Oh so the dog's gonna interpret for you?"- I'm lost for words

* "Where are ya from? Where's the Accent from?" - it's called a Deaf accent.

* (Bill Collector calls house - Hearing Son answers) "Hello may I speak to your mother?" "She's Deaf and can't hear on the phone" "I don't believe you!" "Okay" *click* - Good boy :)

* "Oh so you're into Goth, ghosts, graveyards and such?" "Whaaa??" "You said you were a member of the Association of the Death" "of the DEAF!!"

* (Explained I can't hear the PA system and please come get me.....after a looooong wait I inquire about my turn) "We tried calling you ten times!!"

* (Passed a note with "Can you read and write" written on it) I grabbed their pen and wrote "No I can't" and pass it back, they become sad and walk away. WTH???

* (After asking for something in a store) "It's over there" "Over where? I'm nearly blind (holding up White Cane)." "You can't be...ya got glasses on" (trying hard not to whack 'em with my cane)

And THEY think we're dumb???